International Donor Conception Awareness Day 2025: The donor-conceived journey

In July 2024, I took an Ancestry DNA test out of casual curiosity—expecting a map of heritage, maybe a surprise region or two. What I didn’t expect was the message that would upend the story I’d always known about myself: I’m sperm donor-conceived.

I’ve always known I was conceived via IVF, but my parents never mentioned a donor. I grew up believing both were my biological parents, and learning otherwise through a DNA match—not from them—was a shock that I’m still processing. There was a strange mix of grief, anger, and relief. Grief for a version of my story that’s now gone, anger at the silence, and relief at finally understanding why some things never quite added up.

Through the DNA test, I’ve connected with two half-siblings—people I share a biological link with who were also navigating this space. They’ve known they were donor-conceived all their lives, so the fact that I had only just found out was a bit isolating. I felt like I was showing up late to a version of my own story.

One of them, a half-brother, I’ve been fortunate enough to meet a few times. Those meetings have been quite profound. We didn’t grow up together, but there’s a familiarity that feels oddly grounding—like discovering a song you’ve somehow always known the melody to.

This journey hasn’t been easy. It’s forced me to re-evaluate the meaning of family, truth, and identity. But it’s also opened doors—to connection, to healing, and to community—especially through the group Donor Conceived UK, who have been extremely supportive and helpful.

Now, more than ever, with the rise in commercial DNA testing, more of us are discovering that our identities aren’t quite what we thought. If you’ve recently found out you’re donor-conceived, you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel everything at once. It’s okay to ask questions. And it’s okay to find the people who can help you make sense of it all.

This isn’t the story I thought I’d be telling. But it’s mine now—and I’m learning to own it.

To read last year’s International Donor Conception Awareness Day blog from Isabel, who also shared her experience as a donor-conceived person please click here.

Talk to your child about their origins

The decision to abolish donor anonymity in 2005 has given donor-conceived people – providing they have been told they are donor-conceived – an opportunity to learn about where they came from.

Evidence from the experience of donor-conceived people and those who’ve been adopted has shown it’s best to talk to children about their origins in early childhood. More information can be found here: Talk to your child about their origins.

Finding out about your donor

The HFEA holds information on all fertility treatments involving a donor since 1 August 1991. Donor-conceived people and their parents can apply to us for information held about their donor and genetic siblings on the Register.

A change in the law made it possible for most people conceived from egg, sperm or embryo donations made after 1 April 2005 – and after they turn 18 – to access their donor’s full name, date of birth and their last known address.

To find out more information about the process and support available, please visit Finding out about your donor.