Caroline's story

Caroline, 35, and her husband Andrew, 36, a farmer, live near Sevenoaks, and have unexplained infertility. Their daughter, Adelaide, who is now four, was born after IVF.  Caroline tells their story:

 

Treatment time

'I was on Clomid for six months and then had three attempts at IUI, none of which was successful. We then went onto IVF on the recommendation of our consultant and on the fourth attempt I conceived Adelaide.'

Feelings

'To start with we felt a bit unsure and the idea of having to have IVF took getting used to. We were hit quite hard  emotionally. I thought it was going to work first time so it was a shock when it didn't. Those friends and family we did
tell were extremely supportive. However we didn't tell a lot of people because we felt it was quite private.'

Our relationship

'When you are trying for a baby it takes all the spontaneity out of sex so it is quite a strain. We would get quite excited when having the embryos replaced and then feel utterly despondent when it didn't work. But we worked through it giving each other support. In many ways it brought us
closer together.'

Our tips

• Ask at your clinic about support or counselling options. Support is absolutely vital because infertility treatment can be such a solitary experience. No one in the waiting room ever talks to each other.
• Set up a group if there isn't one. The consultant set up a first meeting of a support group and invited us along. After that a group of us carried on organising monthly meetings. It was invaluable to get together and chat with like-minded people who were going through the same thing. We made some very good friends
  through it who we still have today.