Helena's story

Helena, 34, a business management consultant, and her husband Ian, 34, a surveyor, had private fertility treatment. They live in London and now have a daughter, Sienna, who is a year old. Helena tells their story:

Treatment time

'There are long waiting lists for fertility treatment in our area and we didn't meet the criteria so we chose a private clinic. After monitoring three cycles, which cost £1,200, we were offered IVF. While we were waiting I conceived naturally but miscarried. We then tried again, which cost £3,000, but our eggs and sperm did not fertilise. Then we tried IVF with ICSI twice costing £9,000. On the second attempt I conceived.'

Feelings

'I felt incredibly optimistic, although the worst time was after the miscarriage. The clinic gave me a huge amount of confidence and each time we started a new treatment cycle we felt good because we were doing something. Friends and family were really supportive but devastated when it didn't work.'

Our relationship

'Working through the many different treatments together and all the ups and downs that came with them brought us closer as a couple.'

Our tips

• Choose your clinic carefully. It's vital that the ´fit' between you and your clinic feels right. We looked at a couple before settling on the one we went to.
• Take care of yourself. I decided I would try some anti-stress therapies including acupuncture.
• A positive pregnancy test doesn't mean you will have a baby. Because of my miscarriage I felt really stressed out for the first 12 weeks of my pregnancy half expecting it to be snatched away again.
• It's okay to have a bad day. Your baby is no different to any other so don't feel guilty if you feel tired and exasperated with your crying baby.