Angela's story
Angela already had two daughters when she started thinking about having another child. She and her second husband tried for a baby for years, unaware that, due to surgery, Angela was unlikely to carry a baby to full term.
Despite several pregnancies and receiving treatment with Clomid and finally with IVF, they were unable to have their longed-for baby. Here, Angela tells their story.
Treatment time
"Luckily, I had my two daughters while I was very young. Unfortunately, I was then diagnosed with cancer of the cervix and during my treatment, unbeknownst to me, most of my cervix was removed.
"For four years afterwards, I tried to become pregnant but was told that sometimes after cancer treatment “it just doesn’t happen”. After my divorce and remarriage, I went for a laparoscopy (examination of the pelvic organs with a fibreoptic instrument inserted surgically below the navel) to find out whether there was a problem. Unfortunately, it didn’t go well and there were complications including a punctured bowel.
"Then, after 7½ years of trying, I found out I was pregnant! We were stunned, shocked and soooo pleased. Sadly (probably due to my cervix having been removed) I went into early labour at 24½ weeks and our son died. We were told it was “a 50:50 thing” and that “sometimes you just lose a baby” so we started trying for a baby again right away.
"Seven months later we had another miracle. Sadly we lost a daughter this time, at 23 weeks. Staff at the hospital again told us they did not know why we had lost our babies. But this time I contracted septicaemia (blood poisoning) and was very ill for some weeks. Because of this we now know that I am scarred inside but the doctors would not do a laparoscopy due to the risks involved.
"We tried for another few years and then went to a well-known treatment hospital and were given NHS-funded treatment with Clomid (a fertility drug that indirectly stimulates ovaries into producing eggs) for six months. This was not successful, but they found out through a simple examination that I have no cervix and that this was probably why my waters kept breaking early.
"15 years later we saved up the money to receive one cycle of private IVF treatment. This cost us £3998.00, but sadly it was not successful."
Feelings
"We chose not to sue the original treatment centre, which we later regretted, but we felt it was just a mistake anyone can make, even though we received an incomplete diagnosis twice. (We like to see the good in folk!)
"The rest of my family seemed to cope well enough during our treatment. My mother and father helped fund the IVF. My mother was very worried that if it worked she could lose her daughter. She still can’t talk about how she felt when I was very ill with blood poisoning after I lost the second of our babies.
"I feel it affected my mother-in-law a lot when the IVF did not work as we had just lost my husband’s father, so we were pinning all our hopes on a fresh start: something to look forward to. Sadly it did not happen so we all had to deal with the upset alongside the loss of a wonderful man."
Our relationship
"My husband was a wonderful support to me during the loss of our first child and during the Clomid treatment. However, during the loss of our second child, we were also struggling to control a rather unruly teenager, which put our relationship under a lot of strain.
"We found the IVF also put a horrendous pressure on our marriage: both because of the sheer cost of funding it and effect of the drugs I was on, which made me not the easiest person to live with!"
Our tips
"I would strongly advise anyone going through IVF to talk to lots of people before embarking on it. However, you also need to be aware that everyone’s experience of it will be different. For example, my friend went through five courses of IVF and did not suffer the way that I did. My doctor just said I was very unlucky."
Page last updated: 28 August 2009
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In vitro fertilisation (IVF) literally means ‘fertilisation in glass’ giving us the familiar term ‘test tube baby’.